Rainey Daze & Missing Music

We have been going through a terrible drought here in the middle of the US for the whole Summer. Actually it was an unusually warm Winter that started it with hardly any snow or rain too. Today we finally got some rain. And where did it come from? A hurricane of course. We are about 750 miles off shore and yet the only rain we can get is from a freaking hurricane! Our farm is so dried of and cracked the only thing growing out there is weeds and the pond is down 8 feet from Spring! So thank you Hurricane Issac for coming our way and spreading your precious moisture upon our ground! I imagine the horses were rolling in delight and getting full of mud today. Can't wait to go out and see how much rain we actually got and hope that it made at least a little difference. Here it is almost 1am and I still have the front door open so that I can hear the drops as make their way down and splat on the front steps. It makes a wonderful background noise as I sit here and listen to my old 70's music tonight. James Taylor is crooning at the moment and I could listen to him almost forever. A 12 string acoustic, slow picked and sweetly sung song gets me every time. And I'm going to Carolina in my mind.

Music has been such a huge part of my entire life until the past two years and I'm not sure where it will be standing in the future. Being a singer-song writer and always in relationships with musicians it was my world. I always had a studio or music room that I could retreat to and create or practice. That is no more. My last boyfriend who was really more like my Husband since we did do the ceremony, just not the paperwork, walked away with everything in our music room. He took the stacks of amps, the monitors, the guitars, the mics and stands all the cords and what not. He even took my cordless mics & mixing board and that ticked me off. All that was left in the room was my mic stand in all it's glory with about 80 scarves hanging from it. My mic stand would put Steven Tyler's to shame! Along with him went our band. Not that they were anyone that I really wanted to stick with but, I didn't have a band anymore. After him, I quickly went through two drummers from my past that I shouldn't have but, it's what I know and I was grasping at straws pretty much. It's been almost 2 years now. I blew out my diaphragm singing most likely a Joni Mitchell song and I just got it fixed. Now where am I?

Rick and I have been living together for about a year and a half. He is the first non-musician that I can remember being with. He does know how to play the piano and trumpet actually but, he is not a musician. He has played one song for me on the piano, The Love Story Theme. I thought it was a very romantic gesture of him. He hasn't played anything since but, I'm hoping that will change when the piano is delivered next week for the girls. Our house is so non-musical right now that we don't even have a stereo system or radio in here. Now that is just sad! And when we are out driving together he likes to have the radio off. So unless I get in the car first and turn it on, there's no music in the car either. So maybe this explains why I go out to bars to listen to bands without Rick. He's just not interested and he doesn't drink either so he stays home.

I stopped writing songs about a year ago. Just didn't see the point anymore. They are still in my heart and in my head, I can feel them but, they are being keep inside for now. My life has changed. The seasons changed. My feelings have changed. Change is not always a good thing especially for a creature of habit such a rabbit. So I stay up late at night alone. Being alone is not a bad thing at night and I've being doing it since I was 12 so it is the norm for me. It's when my head is the most clear and my creative juices can flow. I write, edit photos and work on my voice if I don't get too loud. Although my favorite place to really belt out a song now is at the farm and the horses and frogs seem to like it. I'm not sure if I will ever be back on a stage singing again. I don't know if I really want to. That part of me may be dead and gone. I do miss it though so maybe it's just dormant.