Kimmy

Yesterday, April 28th 2012, we laid to rest a close friend of mine who also happened to be my Brother Steve Gerling's Girlfriend off and on for over 20 years. Kimberly Ann Davis Crosby, was a Mother of 3  fine young men Corey, Joey and Mathew McCormick and Step Mom to my Niece Kaity Gerling. She was also the Grandma of two lovely little ones Austin & Madelyn. Kim was the Daughter of Rita & Tom Rayburn and the Sister of Nick Roberson. Kim was much more then a  Girlfriend, Mom, Daughter, Grandma and Friend. Kim was a wonderful, sweet and caring woman. She was as honest as the day is long, always had a hand ready to help a friend or a stranger, a dry shoulder waiting for anyone to cry on and an open ear and mind to listen. These are qualities that seem to be rare these days and when we can find them all in one person, it needs to be commended. In my short time on this earth, I have learned that we have been put here to love each other and to learn from each other. To be teachers and students at the same time is a balancing act. And I believe that when we have completed the tasks that God has set upon us, he gives us the gift of taking us home. It's not our choice when that might be and rarely do we even get a glimpse of the time period. But when it is time, God's time, we get to go home. Kim was lucky enough to see it coming just a bit. And now she can watch over and guide her loved ones and be there to welcome them home, in God's time. I want to thank you Kim for being my friend and for sharing your love with me and my family.
In memory and celebration of Kim's life, we gathered together to share our thoughts of you. The good times are what we are going to remember. You will live on through all of us in our hearts every time we think of you. And you also live on through your children and grandchildren who will carry on through the generations. Your kindness and virtues will be carried on.

Cruel Shoes

Women's shoes go through phases through the years. Sometimes it's minimal and sometimes it's quite dramatic. I am a shoe enthusiast. Once upon a time, shoes seemed to consume my world. Sixty to Eighty hours a week was spent selling these products for almost a decade. And I worked and managed some lovely stores and wonderful people. My leathered and feathered friends all had names and numbers that were quickly memorized. Knowing what was in stock, where it was in my inventory and what sizes were left was a gift and helped my sales. It also didn't hurt to wear low cut blouses when men shopped on the weekends for their expensive Rockports. I seem to be getting a bit off track here, sorry my mind tends to wander. Could be because I haven't slept and I'm hungry. GO MAKE PANCAKES!!

Okay, that's better. Now where was I? Oh yes, shoes going through phases. When I stopped peddling my pretty little foot friends, it seemed that they all changed. They just got down right ugly. It may be only because I wasn't in the business anymore but, I seriously couldn't find a decent pair for about 5 years to buy. Finally I gave in and went only for comfort. I didn't care at that point what adorned my feet. Only that they didn't get sore from walking too much or chasing after the kids. And finally the phase ended, they did get pretty again. Yeah, shoes are back on the shopping list! Purples, pinks, blacks and reds. All the shades and hues that dance in my head. I am a shoe hoarder I must admit. Some of them are close to 30 years old and show there wear and tear. Others are still in the boxes and kept for special occasions that have yet to happen. They will happen though because I buy my shoes with psychic intuition like most women. I must tell you that when I was making really good money I did spend quite a bit on them although 90% of the time, I had a discount or got them on sale and I still do it that way. The most I ever paid (and I remember it oh so well) was $750.00 for a pair of Italian suede boots. They were so pretty. Royal purple with cut out stars in different colors. I think I only wore them on stage. Somehow they disappeared one night long ago and I still miss them. I know they didn't run away into the night by themselves only because they truly loved me. Maybe, just maybe, one day they will come back to my closet where they know they belong.
So here it is 2012 and the styles have changed dramatically again last year. Some of them are cute and a lot of them are very creative. I must admit that there are big changes because the business is opening up to more designers and that it a positive thing. It's obvious that women are now designing what they wear much more then they used to. Well, women and gay men. But in a day and age where I am no longer the tallest woman in the crowd, I can't help but to wonder why the high heels are going so dang high. I mean seriously, do we need to put a platform on stilettos? Maybe once in a while but not mainstream! And some of these other new shoes I truly don't know how to describe except to use Steve Martin's old comedy routine and book title "Cruel Shoes". They are just absolutely nuts! I don't know how anyone could walk on them. If I was still a runway model, I would refuse and go barefoot because you would be risking breaking an ankle or more by taking a few steps in the damned things. They have to be created by men who hate women. men who can't stand their Mothers. Men in prison. Men who have dreams about hurting women with "cruel shoes"!!!



A Little Wind Up My Skirt

Why is it that I tend to wear skirts or dresses on the windiest days? Am I trying to get attention from men? No. Do I like the cool breeze? Maybe. Or am I an exhibitionist? Oh who knows? I'm not even sure if I spelled that correctly.
When I lived in Wyoming they called these type of winds "Montana Winds". The reason they get to Wyoming is because of the lack of trees in the North Eastern parts. Of course it's nothing close to the winds that go through the mountains in Colorado like my friends April & Tazz experience all too often. If I wore a skirt during those wind storms, I wouldn't be able to see where I was going because it would be wrapped around my head! Honestly I don't know how they do it :o/
Missouri weather is so finicky. Yesterday it was a beautiful 80 degrees and I had things to do from the moment I woke up until I fell asleep so I couldn't really enjoy it. They day before, it was 90 and I was at the farm planting my sunflower seeds while the sun was beating down on me. After conveniently getting tangled up in some barbwire that was hidden in the grass, I gave up the seeding and played with the wildlife for a bit. Today, part of the metro area is under a tornado watch and it's only 62 degrees. Tomorrow it will probably snow. And people wonder why I prefer to live out west. Well the reason is that it is a bit more predictable there. When it is cold, it stays cold. And when it's hot, it stays hot. Simple as that. But truly the main reason is that I love the wide open spaces out there. Where men are men and sheep are scared. No, it really isn't that bad. The population is more then you might think. There is only 1 town in Wyoming that has a population of one. I do miss the wild horses and Buffalo so much though. And the mountains call my name often. You really have to go there and stay awhile to understand. And until the kids are in college, I'll happily stay in Missouri with Rick and play Farmer's Wife with him as often as I can.

A little peek into the Life of an insomniac

Being an insomniac is something that I have been labeled with since 1978. A bit odd at the age of 12 for it to start but, not totally unheard of. It has effected my life in many ways but, mostly it has effected my relationships. At first they say it's fine not a problem. After a year or so, it drives them nuts. For example, it's almost 3am right now. I'm not a bit tired yet. Rick has been in bed for 5 hours already just a snoring away in there. He'll get his 8 hours in and I'll get somewhere between 4-6 usually. And when I do get up, he will be bouncing off the walls after a pot of coffee (I rarely do caffeine anymore) and just finishing up his workout. I personally don't even want to hear a whisper when I first wake up let alone someone who is acting like they are on crack for Christ's sake!
I actually like being up all night by myself most of the time. It's nice and peaceful. I can get my work done, nobody interrupts me, the phone doesn't ring, I don't have to wait to take a shower or use the bathroom. Almost everything that I have ever written has been done in the solitude of my insomnia. My creativity seems to pop out when the silence envelopes my home. And so I now begin another blog. It's been quite a long while since I've had one online. Most of the time I'm at the farm when I've been writing. Unfortunately, I don't have Internet service there. So let's see how this goes. Give me a subject and I'll write about it. If you don't, I'll just ramble on most likely.
So this is the pond at our farm where I do a bit of thinking, play with the frogs, turtles and hawks. It's such a beautiful spot and Rick and his farm is definitely the reason I am still here in Missouri and not back out west yet again.... At least not until the kids are grown up. Maybe then I can talk him into it.
So, back to the lack of sleep. Why am I this way??? Well that is a good question. Is it because I didn't like day jobs and normal people? No, I did the 9 to 5 routine off and on and I was a good "Team Player" when I needed to be. It just seems that about 4 days a week I would be up until at least 3 or 4am and then I'd be dragging at work the next day. Everyone would tell me to just drink coffee ~ the drink of the God's they said. Nay! Just another addiction to me. Here I am 46 years old and have never so much as let that stuff touch my lips in my life. Although I have been known to drink a crappy gas station cappuccino on occasion, I don't count that as regular coffee and I can't stand Starbucks. I will never pay $5 for watered down beans. It just doesn't appeal to me at all.
It's 4am now and I'm a bit sleepy. Rick has an appointment at 10:15 in Independence so I suppose I should try and get some dreams in between now and then.